A few downs but more ups this week.

So, the smoking...I did it! It's only been a week but I can just tell I'm done. It feels so good to have that demon off my back. Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing way too much eating but that should ebb soon and then it'll be the new year and time to work on the weight loss. Really, whether I end up with 10 extra pounds or so doesn't really matter as long as I'm feeling better in general.

Another huge step, at least with regard to my mental health, is quitting my job. I love some of the people I work with but for the most part it is the most messed up place with the most messed up people I've ever come into contact with. There are 3 people (well now 2) who don't do drugs, almost everyone with kids have either lost custody or given them up or just don't support them. I can't even start on M & M. What lousy miserable and selfish people. I can't wait till they are nothing but memories. I know $$ will be tight for a bit but I really think a little time to get grounded again will do me and my family wonders. God knows the house could use some TLC. I really need to concentrate on Sean and getting this whole testing thing going so I know this will be start of great times for us. It's been such a lousy year for my extended family it's been hard to remember how lucky we really are. There are always some ups and downs but mostly we have ups. Our children our healthy (or at least free from major health issues) and the limited time we have together is spent laughing. What else is there really? Nothing that actually matters in the long run. I know I tend to jump to absolute and extreme reactions which probably seems to friends like I'm miserable half the time but that's just me.

So, I don't believe in New Years Resolutions but I do believe in fresh starts or at least little tweaks. So my plans the rest of the year are to sit back and relax and let whatever will be be. I'm going to embrace it all, good and bad,the easy and the stuff that requires work. This is my life and I'm once again ready to live it to it's fullest.